


The spectrum of emotion

by waddiwasiwitch



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 21:43:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3993907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waddiwasiwitch/pseuds/waddiwasiwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy thoughts on her relationship with Spike during the years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The spectrum of emotion

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy.

The spectrum of emotion

She hated him. Her body was set on edge every time she sensed him close. Just a glimpse of peroxide hair could make her blood boil‚ her fists clench and her teeth grit. She hated him for everything he wasn’t and everything he was.

She depended on him. She wasn’t sure why but she did. It happened somewhere along the way during their tenuous alliance. Her sister’s life depended on it and she knew if something happened to her that he would protect her sister.

She needed him. He was the only one who could understand what it was like to be brought back to life. Every day was a brutal technicolour reminder that she didn’t get to rest. The fight would never be over.

She wanted him. Her knickers were soaked and she needed him in her. They both took what they needed in their desperation. She fucked him while he loved her. She couldn’t bear to hear him say it‚ because the only reason she let him close was that she hated herself more than she hated him.

He hurt her. The memory of the cold tile floor and his rough hands haunt her - the one thing she never thought he would do. She swore she didn’t trust him but she must have. The look in his eyes when he realised what he almost did. And he ran – the coward couldn’t face her.

She forgave him. Was it even him that came back? No – he was different. The soul replaced the monster. The spark he calls it. And they’re friends – like they could have been once before they used sex to get what they needed.

She loved him. She knew in that instant as their hands were joined together that she loved him. Too late to matter she was forced to let go and leave him behind to burn in the Hellmouth. She ran‚ her breaths drawn out in short gasps and her lungs throbbed with exertion. But none of it compared to the ache in her heart

The end


End file.
